Chapter One
Aurora
“I knew I’d find you here.” Violet clucks her tongue against her teeth.
I blink up from the ribbons and sewing supplies carefully arranged on the table across from my canvas. It seems like I’ve been painting for a few minutes but given the way Violet’s lips are drawing down, perhaps not. Perhaps it’s been much, much longer. I often lose track of time when I’m here.
“You’re meant to meet with the king at four o’clock,” she reminds me. She always calls Father the king, as if I might somehow forget his royal status. Or mine.
I set my paintbrush down and give the canvas one last look. It could be hours or days before I make it back into my secret hideaway in the dusty tower to work on my art. It’s the bane of every artist’s existence—that real life intrudes and keeps us from doing the one thing that makes our souls sing.
She takes me by the arm, the only one who touches me. Even Father’s bodyguards aren’t allowed to touch me.
I follow her down the old stone corridor. I shiver with a chill, but it has nothing to do with the cold stones beneath my feet. Sometimes, when I’m in certain parts of the castle, I feel them. The spirits of my ancestors, the ones who made noble sacrifices to ensure that my kingdom would continue to be free. For over one hundred and fifty years now, Velkan has known peace.
“Where are your shoes?” Violet chides as we move from the dimly lit corridor into the plush carpeting of the royals’ entrance. I suspect royals shouldn’t be allowed to get their feet cold.
“I lost them in the garden at the tea party.” I look down at my toes. They’re leaving dirt streaks on the thick, white carpet. But there is no time to stop and apologize to the maids that will turn the messy floor spotless again.
“How can you forget to wear shoes?” She sounds thoroughly exasperated with me, reminding me of my mom. She died when I was thirteen. Both Violet and I miss her terribly. Violet used to be her assistant and when she passed, I inherited her. The sixty-nine-year-old assistant is like a grandmother to me. She watches over me and arranges my days, making sure my hair and makeup are always appropriate for every occasion.
I don’t bother to explain to Violet that none of the other girls were wearing shoes. We took them off to walk barefoot and chase butterflies through the garden. The monthly tea party for underprivileged girls is the highlight of my carefully organized social calendar. It’s a chance to learn more about the people that the kingdom exists to serve, and I hold those moments close.
“Is Father in a good mood?” I whisper to her as she knocks on the door.
The slight twitch in her left eye is the only tell. It means he’s irritated today but no more than usual. Running a kingdom is serious business. He likes to remind me of that frequently.
When she’s granted permission, Violet reaches for the doorknob. I can’t remember the last time I touched a doorknob. Maybe not ever in my whole life. There are things that princesses don’t do. Things that others do for them.
Sometimes, late at night, I have these wild and crazy thoughts. Thoughts of running away and becoming a simple man’s wife. I’d live on his farm, and we’d work the land together. We’d have a dozen children and three dogs. We’d grow old, hands held as we sit on the porch swing every evening, and I would know freedom from this cage I’m in.
The moment the doors open, Father stands from his desk and gives me a once over. I pretend not to notice the way his lip pulls down in a disappointed frown. Seems I’m a perpetual disappointment to the man, the same way my mother was. They had a cold marriage, one that was on the best days emotionally distant. On the worst, it was cruel, filled with cutting remarks. I shiver to think that might be my future one day.
I hurry into the room. Father doesn’t like to be kept waiting. My purple dress swishes with every movement. It’s dotted with small paint spatters. After the tea party, I was itching to paint but I knew if I paused to change, Violet would quickly whisk me away to the next event on the day’s schedule.
I bow and offer him a warm smile. Twenty-one years and you’d think I’d have the common sense to stop trying for his affection. But some part of me is always hopeful that one day I’ll smile at him, and he’ll smile back.
He offers me no smile and rounds the large mahogany desk to move to the sitting area where a cart of tea is already set out. He looks pale again today, I note as he takes a chair. I’ve tried to figure out what’s going on but whenever I press Violet for news, she says nothing. Sometimes, all the things I’m not told gather in the pit of my stomach and form a ball of nerves so tight that it’s hard to eat or think or breathe.
I pour him hot tea and settle him with the dainty cakes he likes, careful not to spill anything on his suit. The slightest mistake must not be tolerated. We can’t look anything less than perfect, not according to Father.
I take a seat too and don’t nibble at the dainty treats on my plate. It makes Father happy when he thinks I’m trying to lose weight. I like my curves just fine. My body lets me chase butterflies through the garden and paint beautiful masterpieces. It cushions my bones when I fall, and it jiggles when I full belly laugh.
“Must you always look so unkempt?” He starts the moment I’m seated. “You’ll never be desired by your future husband if you don’t care for yourself.”
My heart pounds as a wave of nausea sweeps through me. Father wants me to be married, and he’s been bringing it up this past year. It adds to my worries that something is seriously wrong with his health.
I’m betrothed to a man named Rafael. I’ve never laid eyes on him, and the union was decided when we were babies. “I’ve been talking to him.”
Technically, that’s true. I have left him several voice messages over the past six weeks. He never gets back to me, so I’ve taken to leaving him long, rambling messages about my hopes, dreams, and fears. I’m treating the calls like a voice diary.
“You still haven’t convinced him to join you at the palace.” Father is using the stern tone I recognize from his many negotiations.
There is nothing that King Frederic the Fourth has not been able to accomplish while he’s on the throne. If he told the sun to stop shining, it would listen. He has that kind of presence and power.
I don’t think Violet has given me the right number at all. But I won’t point that out and risk getting her in trouble. As it is, I have serious questions about how my prince ended up living in America for so long after seeming to disappear from existence. It’s another thing that Violet hasn’t explained to me. “I’m trying to get to know him before the ceremony.”
Father frowns. He didn’t even meet my mother until the day they were wed. He made her miserable throughout their marriage. She spent almost two decades trying to win his heart and never succeeded.
He opens his mouth to continue his lecture but one of his attendants appears from the shadows. He bows before announcing Father has a call of great importance, adding it’s the one he was expecting.
Father stands and straightens his suit, scowling down at me the entire time. “Don’t overindulge on the pastries.”
I recognize a dismissal when I hear one, and I’m relieved that our monthly tea was cut short. I get to my feet and bow one final time before leaving the room without a backward glance.
***
“You have to go to him,” Violet says that night in my bedroom. All of my maids and attendants have been dismissed for the day.
“Go to who?” I fight a yawn as I comb my wet hair. I get my dark hair and eyes from my mother. I’ve seen pictures of her when she was my age. We could have been twins.
“Rafael. Bring him to the palace. He must take his place, so that you can take yours.” She pauses to set her tablet on my vanity table and pulls off the black frames she always wears. When she does, I realize how dark those circles are under her eyes.
“I don’t think I can kidnap him, even if he is my betrothed,” I joke to lighten the mood.
“Your father is ill,” she confesses.
Suddenly, her insistence on going to Rafael makes sense. There’s a law in Velkan. A stupid, archaic one that demands I wed before assuming the throne. If not, it passes to the next heir. My cousin, Nico.
Thinking about the man causes another wave of nausea. He’s a notorious womanizer despite being married to a sweet girl. He gambles exorbitant amounts of money, and he’s always at the latest nightclubs.
He’s not likely to grow up, even if he’s handed the kingdom. No, my cousin will destroy the country within a few years. He’ll create soaring national debt and make enemies of our closest allies.
But he’s been trying to win the hearts of our citizens and get their public support. He thinks that I don’t see what he’s doing. He’s trying to become the next leader, to show that he’s the king that cares for them. Except he doesn’t.
The moment he’s on the throne, he won’t concern himself with lowly matters like rising poverty among our elderly or underprivileged girls in dire need of better educational opportunities. All he’ll care about is chasing around the maid with the shortest skirt.
“Are you sure?” I ask, my mind spinning. My father’s illness means my single days are numbered. I can’t sacrifice the security and wellbeing of the citizens, even if a marriage comes at the cost of my own personal happiness. Still, I’d hoped for more time.
She flattens her lips, the way she does when she’s debating what to say. Finally, she offers, “Nico doesn’t just have the hearts of the people. He has your father’s ear.”
“And father wishes for him to be next in line,” I fill in the blanks. Of course, he does. My father has never made a secret of his disdain for me and my mother. Never hidden how much he’s hated the both of us.
“I’ll do whatever it takes to get Rafael here.” My words may be confident but the knot in my stomach grows. I’ve promised I will live in this gilded cage forever.
“It’s important no one knows about this,” she whispers. “If word gets back to Nico…”
He’ll use it against me. Look at the princess, shirking her duties while her father is ill. How can such a young, foolish girl be trusted to run the country?
My mind spins with a thousand different ways to explain my absence. Still, I stand and gather myself. “If questioned, you’ll say I’ve been at the girls’ home.”
Her chin trembles. Only twice I have seen this woman cry. Both times it was for my mother. “You have to travel alone, as a regular citizen. You will announce Rafael publicly before the king and Nico can thwart the marriage.”
I give her shoulders a squeeze. She’s spent her life reassuring me and today, we’re switching roles. I am no longer the child she needs to calm. Now I am the future queen, and it is my job to soothe her. “I’ll return within a week with my groom.”