Chapter One
Anita
“This is a mistake,” Haven, my best friend, says from her seat in the rented SUV beside me. This was her idea, not mine. But I still think it’s a good one.
“We’ll just check him out and see what happens,” I reassure her. My grip on the steering wheel is tight as the oversized vehicle chugs up the curvy mountain road.
I don’t mind the elevation. But there are usually guardrails in place. Unfortunately, the road leading to the Lawrence Lodge doesn’t have them. The Lawrence Lodge is where Ben, Haven’s new potential boyfriend, is staying.
My bestie is a pop singer, the international kind of famous that means she’s always in the media and being stalked by paparazzi. After her latest boyfriend used her to further his career, I suggested she try online dating. I even signed her up for an app, Curve Connection. It’s a dating site that was created by and for curvy women who are looking for love.
“No, she’s right. This is a terrible idea. We should go home,” Oliver grumps from the backseat. He happens to be Haven’s head bodyguard. He’s giant, all muscle, and broody. He’s also my secret crush, but he has a thing for Haven. Besides that, he’s always grumpy with me. It’s obvious he only tolerates me because I’m Haven’s assistant. The thought makes me a little bit sad.
Haven’s cheerful but nervous mood changes at Oliver’s words. She slumps in her seat, reminding me of a deflated balloon.
Oliver doesn’t try to be a jerk. He’s just the type of person that’s careful and spends way too long thinking things through. But I hate seeing my best friend looking defeated before she’s even met Ben. “If you want to get new results, you have to try new things.”
He sighs deeply, a sound laced with disapproval. He didn’t like it when Haven said she wanted to come up here and meet Ben.
Of course, Ben doesn’t know my bestie is coming. He doesn’t know she’s a pop singer either. All he knows is he’s been chatting with Haven online. He hasn’t even seen her face, just a little avatar I created for her.
So, when we check in today, Haven will use an alias. This will give her time to scope out Ben and see if he’s actually good boyfriend material. That might sound harsh, as if we’re testing him.
But I heard the way her old boyfriend used to talk about her. Not only did the sleazeball cheat on her, he made fun of her weight and looks behind her back. My friend deserves better. All women do.
Besides that, Ben may not be able to make it in Haven’s world. She’s constantly being followed by the paparazzi. If they find out about Ben, his life could quickly become a media circus and he may not be able to cope with that. Quietly investigating him is the best solution for both of them.
I stop the vehicle in front of the lodge, noting that the parking lot is only dotted with a few cars. According to reviews, the small resort located in Lake Bliss, North Carolina is something of a shithole. But this is Haven. I’ll do anything for her, even stay at a lodge where coming home with bed bugs is almost guaranteed.
“Just act normal. The way you do around us,” I remind Haven. Despite her fame, she’s still down-to-earth and true to herself. I love that about my bestie. Most of her other friends either deserted her or sold stories about her to the tabloids. She could have let that make her bitter and become a total bitch. But she didn’t. She stayed kind and authentic. That’s not easy to do when you’re in her industry.
“Do I look silly?” She asks as she slips on the square black frames I selected for her. I gave Haven a makeover before we left, changing her hair color and style. I considered going with contacts to change her eye color. But we both thought they would get annoying, so, we ended up choosing glasses. Dressed down in my clothes, it’s hard to tell she’s the same person that sings to sold out stadiums.
“You look beautiful,” I reassure her.
“If this goes south, just send me a look,” Oliver says. His voice is dark and gravelly, and I can’t help but wonder what he would sound like if he were buried deep inside me.
“Easy there, John Wick,” I retort as I remind myself that he likes Haven. She doesn’t know this but the last two guys I dated just wanted to get close to her. I dumped them once I realized what was going on. I love my bestie with all of my heart. It’s not her fault that men are drawn to her. But sometimes, I wish I wasn’t second pick. I want to be noticed too.
I pull her toward the front door and the moment we step into the lodge, I relax. Based on the reviews, I’d expected to be presented with a place that looked like a landfill. But the lobby is clean and neat. There are leather armchairs in front of big bay windows. A fireplace is happily crackling nearby and there’s a bookshelf filled with classics that guests can read. It’s nothing like I had imagined.
A man stands from behind the counter. I recognize him from the dating app pictures. He’s Ben. Haven’s Ben.
I push her toward him and step back, pretending to inspect the bookshelf. The place even smells nice. Like a mixture of pine trees and cinnamon.
Oliver follows me over to the bookshelf.
He’s standing close because I can feel his body heat behind me. If I turned, I bet I would be staring at the middle of his suitcoat.
He’s about a foot taller than me and always dressed in a black suitcoat, dark slacks, and a white dress shirt. He’s been working for Haven for three years and I’ve never seen him in anything but that outfit.
“What do you think she sees in him?” Oliver grunts.
“Ben is cute,” I say since I don’t really know the answer either. I’m not even remotely attracted to the guy. But I can recognize that he’s not bad looking. He’s lean and fit, with a boy next door charm.
Still, I wonder how my best friend could ever look at Ben when she has someone like Oliver interested in her. Oliver with his bulky frame and wide shoulders. He carries himself with an aura of power and confidence. He keeps the team of men he trains organized and efficient. I don’t think I’ve ever seen so much as a button out of place on his people. Oliver simply wouldn’t allow it.
Every time I’m around him, I feel safe because I know he’s in control. But I also get nervous too. Because one day, he’s going to glance away from Haven long enough to realize I’ve had a crush on him for years, and that will spell disaster for me.
***
Oliver
I fuckin’ hate that Anita thinks Ben is cute. I can’t help pointing out a few things about him to her. “He lives in a tiny, cramped apartment. He makes a pittance working as a firefighter in another small town, and he’s barely got two hundred and fifty-six dollars in his checking account, give or take that milkshake sitting on the front desk.”
All of that is true. Except that he does have a decent sized savings account. That’s where most of his money appears to go. He’s got no vices or bad habits that I could find, and I know the type of men that can get me every piece of information on a person.
I could say that I was just being overprotective when it comes to Haven. After all, her last boyfriends have been major douchebags. But the truth is there was no way I was going to let Anita be around a man that I didn’t know every single detail about.
She doesn’t know it but she’s mine to protect. I’ll fuckin’ kill any man who so much as looks in her direction. As it was, running off her last boyfriend wasn’t hard. Once it became obvious what he was after, I made sure he was out of her life.
She thinks she ran him off. She thinks she accidentally discovered what he was really like. But I was the one looking out for her, making sure she saw through the lies.
My phone dings with a message. It’s a confirmation for the delivery of daffodils that will be waiting for Anita in her room. One day, I saw the way she looked longingly at the flowers Haven always receives. Since then, I make sure she has some waiting for her wherever we’re staying. I want Anita to know every day that she’s the most special woman in the world.
She glances up at me, interrupting my thoughts. Her long strands of hair cling to my suitcoat. I’ve fantasized about wrapping that ponytail around my hand while thrusting into her so many times.
She gives me that little teasing grin. It’s usually reserved for just Haven but today, I get it and I feel like a million bucks. “Boxers or briefs?”
For a moment, I think she’s asking me about what I prefer. But then I realize she’s focused on Ben. I hate the idea that she’s thinking about the underwear another man has on.
I grunt.
She giggles. I find it annoying when most women giggle. But not Anita. For some reason, she doesn’t annoy me. Maybe because I’m always thinking about ways to tie her to my bed and give her endless orgasms. “I bet you know everything about him.”
I start to retort but my toes are itching. Some guys complain about phantom pains after losing a limb. For me, I get a phantom itch. It’s gotten better in the years since the amputation. But there are still times when my body seems to forget a part of me is missing.
I’ve worked damn hard to make sure no one around me knows. Haven is the only person I’ve told about my above-the-knee amputation, and I don’t think she’s mentioned it to Anita. Others have noticed the limp but it’s easy to dismiss as a war injury. Not only is it true, but the explanation keeps people from asking questions.
I’m not embarrassed or ashamed. But I don’t want Anita to know. We’ve worked together for three years and most of the time, we bicker and fight with each other. It’s been the world’s longest game of foreplay.
Nothing will ever happen between us. For one, I’m fifteen years older than her and two, she could do better than a former soldier with plenty of blood on his hands. Still, I’m a masochist because I keep coming back for more.
I glare at Ben from across the room. There’s a part of me thinking that if I put enough hate into the stare, I can neutralize the guy into a pile of ash on the floor. A tiny pile of ash.
To his credit, Ben holds my gaze. My respect for him grows a small fraction. Most people won’t hold my stare because I’m an intimidating bastard to look at. At six feet six inches with my bulky frame that comes from hours spent weightlifting and extensive combat training, I’m not the type of man you want to meet in a dark alley.
Anita elbows me in the chest, and I pull my attention back to her.
“Stop acting like you’re about to hulk out. We should be happy for her,” she says. There’s a note of wistfulness in her voice so strong that it makes my own heart clench.
I want Anita to be happy. She deserves to be with someone who will make her his whole world. But before I can tell her that, Haven is bounding over to us and destroying the moment.