Chapter One
River
“Are you cold?” I ask Lily as I adjust the blanket around her. “It’s a damn doctor’s office, not a meat locker. You’d think someone here could figure that out.”
Lily, my six-month-old daughter, grins up at me and my heart flips inside my chest. It’s been this way ever since she appeared on my doorstep three months ago in nothing more than a car seat with a thin baby blanket draped over her. I knew the moment I looked into those little eyes that she was mine. I didn’t need a damn paternity test to prove that. Some things in life you just know.
Even though it took some time, I tracked her mom down and got all of the paperwork in order, so now I’m her sole parent and no one can take her away from me.
Dr. Cash comes in the room and gives me his usual nod. “What’s going on with Miss Lily today?”
“She has an ear infection,” I explain. “She keeps tugging on them. She’s cranky and drooling all the time. She couldn’t even sleep last night.”
He uses the otoscope to inspect her ears. It takes a moment because she keeps trying to pull away from him. When he’s done, he pauses to tap something on his tablet. “Her temperature is normal, and she’s not showing any sign of infection. I suspect she’s just teething. Pay attention for ridges along her gums. You should be able to feel them soon.”
“Are you sure she isn’t sick?” I ask, unable to fight the familiar anxiety. I’ve been here nine times in the past three months. I’m sure the staff thinks I’m some overreactive father, but I don’t give a damn. This little girl is my responsibility. I have to keep her safe.
Cash looks up from his tablet. “My twins had the same symptoms when they were her age. She’s healthy. She’s passed all of her exams. She shows no signs of neurological disorders or anything else we were initially concerned about.”
Lily’s mother was a drug addict. That’s why she abandoned her on my doorstep. She swore she was clean during her pregnancy, but it’s a constant worry in the back of my mind that maybe she wasn’t telling the truth.
I wouldn’t love my little girl any less if she had a disability, but I don’t want her to silently suffer.
“She’s fine, River,” he says as if reading my thoughts. His tone is reassuring, like I’m a kid that needs to be coddled.
I frown at him before glancing at Lily who is making noises and continuing to produce an alarming amount of drool. She’s so tiny, and the world is so big. There are so many things that could go wrong or hurt her. But I don’t voice any of that. Instead I just nod and thank him for seeing her.
Outside in the parking lot, I buckle Lily into her car seat. As I’m doing that, I swear I hear the familiar voice on the breeze. When River fucks up, everyone pays.
Sweat trickles down my spine despite the mild spring day. I glance around before reminding myself that he’s gone. You would think the man that tormented me in life couldn’t hurt me in death. But his shadow seems to follow me everywhere.
Lily puts a hand on my face as if she senses my anxiety, and I force myself to give her a smile. I’m the one that needs to be reassuring her, not the other way around. “Let’s go to the feed store and see Mallory.”
When I say the name of the curvy woman who haunts my dreams, Lily breaks into a toothless smile as if she knows exactly who I’m talking about. I don’t understand how they’ve managed to bond so quickly, but it’s nothing short of amazing.
If things were different, maybe I’d ask her out. Maybe we could have a chance at seeing each other, but she deserves better than that.
Besides, I have to get married soon. My late grandfather passed away and his requirement for inheriting the family ranch is that each Scott must marry. I’ve already been set up with a mail order bride service, but I keep striking out.
A lot of the women that apply want to start a family with their cowboy. They don’t want a cowboy that already has a family started. Not that it bothers me. My priority is Lily. I want to make sure that she has a beautiful life. That means I’m not settling for a woman who won’t be a good mother to my little daughter.
Mallory would be a good mother. I remind that stubborn voice inside my head that she’s eighteen. I’m over twenty years older than her. Mallory has her whole life ahead of her. She doesn’t need to be saddled with my grumpy ass or a six-month old baby.
When I start the truck, the large cab fills with the sounds of a nursery preschool song. I don’t know if it’s helping Lily. I don’t know much of anything these days despite all the parenting books I read or the way I’m constantly looking up information online.
Still, Lily seems happy. I try to focus on that and not on all the ways that I might be screwing her up for life.
When I get to the store, I park the truck and put Lily in her carrier that’s strapped to my chest. She kicks delightedly, drawing my attention to her feet. She only has on one sock. I don’t know how she always manages to remove her left sock.
A rush of cool air greets me when I step inside the store, but it doesn’t register because Mallory is here. Instantly, my blood is boiling, and my mouth is dry. She’s always had this ability to affect my body, to make me long for things I can’t have with her.
Mallory is talking to one of the other customers. I recognize him as a ranch hand from the Caldwell farm, and I scowl. I’ve already had to warn off just about every man in a fifty-mile radius. It’s not hard to tell why.
She’s beautiful with her stunning curves, ruby red lips, and tendency to dress like a fifties pin up model. She always looks gorgeous and put together no matter where she is or what she’s doing.
The moment the ranch hand spots me, I give him a glare. Suddenly, he seems a lot less interested in making a purchase and quickly scurries out of the store. He probably knows of my reputation. While I haven’t had a fight in years, I still train like I’m about to go into the cage at any moment.
As soon as he’s gone, Mallory glances around the store. Our gazes connect and everything in me is electrified. The only thing I want to do is gather her in my arms and kiss those ruby lips.
She breaks into a grin as soon as she sees Lily. She rolls up to me in her chair and she’s eye level with my little girl. “How are you doing today, little flower?”
“Teething,” I grunt. I don’t know what it is about being around Mallory, but it’s hard for me to get out more than a word or two.
“Are you here for more chicken feed?” She asks, not taking her beautiful blue gaze off my baby.
It’s a running joke among my brothers because I buy so much of this stuff. It’s not like we need it. Hell, I have enough to feed my chickens for ten years or more. But I keep showing up here and buying the damn stuff. It has absolutely nothing to do with those chickens and everything to do with the beautiful woman here at the feed store.
***
Mallory
My heart pounds, and my body heats the moment the bell jingles above the store door. I know without looking exactly who came into the place. The familiar stomp of his heavy boots and the gentle cooing of his daughter alert me instantly that they’re here.
River rarely says anything to me. The single dad cowboy just grunts and growls. But there’s something about his brown gaze and the way he carries himself that makes him so attractive to me.
Today, he’s wearing his usual uniform of a black t-shirt. Tattoos peek out from underneath his sleeve. He has dozens of them down his arm and I’ve imagined running my tongue along them so many times. His fitted Wranglers are worn in in the knees and the butt, not that I check out his ass when he bends over. His boots are always faded and scuffed, like he can’t be bothered with the time it would take to break in a new pair.
The moment our gazes connect, it feels the same way that it feels right before a spring thunderstorm. Heavy and humid, filled with promise.
I roll up to him in my motorized wheelchair and greet Lily. She’s his six-month-old daughter. I don’t know the exact details of that situation because I only moved to Courage County, North Carolina two months ago.
But I do know that River is single. Despite the fact that I’ve witnessed several women throw themselves at him, he shows no interest. In fact, he never shows interest in any woman.
“How are you doing today, little flower?” It’s easier to talk to her than it is her scowling father. I don’t know why he always looks so mad when he comes in here.
“Teething,” he practically growls the word.
“Oh, poor little thing,” I murmur before turning my attention back to River. I remind myself that he’s a customer. One of our best actually. “Are you here for more feed?”
I haven’t been working here long, but I’ve grown up in another ranching town. I know how these places work. Based on the size of River’s ranch and the number of chickens he has, there’s no way he needs this much feed. Which leads me to think that the only reason he drops in is because Lily and I seem to share a connection.
She reaches for me as if confirming my thoughts, and I glance up at him for permission. He quickly pulls her free from the carrier.
I give her a little grin and coo at her while he goes to find the feed. Technically, it’s my job to help with this stuff. But he always shoos me away and lets me spend time getting my Lily cuddles.
I can’t help wondering where her mom is and why she’s not involved in her daughter’s life. At least, I’ve never seen her around and in a small town like Courage, news about her would travel.
I spend twenty minutes playing games with Lily and trying not to wish for a family. I’m only eighteen but I’m on my own. I want people to come home to. A daughter to cuddle and a man to hold me.
No, that’s not true. I want to be able to cuddle Lily while River holds me. I know we’re meant to be, but I can’t get him to see that when he won’t even talk to me most days.
Since I know he’s nearly done with his order, I roll my wheelchair to the back of the store and watch him load his feed. To the casual observer, I’m counting out how many bags he’s purchasing.
But that’s not what I’m really doing. No, I’m here to watch the way his biceps ripple and the way his shoulders bunch with every heavy load. River could pick me up and hold me against the wall if he wanted. The thought has me feeling achy.
As he loads his last bag, I study the familiar swallows inked on his arm. There are three of them and the sight always fascinates me.
My grandfather said the man I should marry would carry swallows with him. It might sound silly to some people, but my grandfather had a knack for knowing things. I can’t help hoping that he was right on this one because I want River Scott to be my cowboy husband.